Distant River

Distant
invisible
as if you don't see me anymore
the worst feeling in the world
just your friend
I don't like it
wish you only knew.

Hope
one day soon
give me one more chance
rejected
don't know what to do anymore
guilty
couldn't do anything more
cared deeply
move on
guilty
like a stain that never goes away
sticks forever
never fades
no detergent to get rid of the stain
no white out to eliminate it.

been stressed out lately
the mind keeps sabotaging itself
it's starting to go haywire
can't troubleshoot the problem
solve it
get rid of it
existing at this very moment
academic? family? friends? 
root of the problem
regarding you
confused
everything
down the drain
in a few seconds
quick
grieve and take it in
don't feel like myself anymore.

Just want to give up
everything
don't have the answer
not sure
might be a while
until I'll really feel whole
complete once again
wait it out
see where the river takes me.