Experiences of a CSL Student (一位中文学生的经验)

Learning any language is very difficult and often frustrating for many people. Foreign students or English second language students (ESL) who come to an American or European university to study often find it difficult to learn English. However, it's not only foreign students who find it difficult to learn new languages, but American students studying other languages besides English also find it just as difficult, particularly Chinese second language students (CSL). 

In most American high schools, students are required to take two consistent years of the same language, so each student must carefully choose which language he/she would like to study during those two years. Many schools offer a selection of different languages including Spanish, Japanese, Chinese and occasionally, Hawaiian as well as many other languages. In the high school that I attended, in particular, I decided to study Mandarin Chinese because I wanted to learn more about their culture, customs and language. I didn't know what to expect on the first day of class and I came to find out that studying Mandarin Chinese was even harder than I thought it would be. At first, I felt frustrated learning the language because it was so different from English-- the sentence structure wasn't straight forward, the pinyin and tone marks made everything more confusing and writing the characters was extremely time-consuming. However, I constantly studied and went around my house trying to name every item in Chinese. "Pencil. Bi 毛笔... Book. Shu 书..." Besides doing this, I also had to come up with a fun studying method to make it easier to remember all the characters and how to pronounce them. For instance, take the word "外头 wai tou" which in English means outside. In Chinese, "wai tou" sounds like "wide toad", so imagine how massive this toad would be if you had it as an indoor pet. The toad is too wide to live inside, so it has to live "outside". 

The more and more I kept making up these fun ways to learn Chinese, learning the language was not only more fun, but it also grew on me and I ended up studying beyond the two year high school requirement and then, eventually studying it at the university. 

Although Chinese can be somewhat difficult at times, learning it as well as learning any new language can be an enriching experience and it's an experience that I highly recommend. Learning a new language will not only help you in your professional career, but it will also help you to see the world from a different perspective. You will also meet a diversity of people who are willing to learn and teach; and it will open a door to new opportunities to study abroad and travel with other students with similar interests. 

How to Make Reading Fun

Have you ever had those moments when you would have to re-read a line of text, a paragraph or even an entire page? This often happens when you are daydreaming or thinking about something else while you are reading. Reading can often be a very difficult task, especially when you have to read a book that you are required to read for class.  so in order to help you stay focused on the task ahead, use these strategies to keep your focus on what you are reading:

1. Keep a Pencil in Hand At all Times

If you are reading a print or hard copy book, always have a pencil or pen with you while you are reading, so that you can keep track of what's happening throughout the story. You can also jot down important notes on the side margins about the characters, important details and useful quotes that you can easily refer to later whenever you need them. This will help you do be an active reader while also help you to slow down your reading.

2. Create a Mental Picture

Instead of reading the text fast and rushing through all the words, slow down your reading and create a mental image. For each word and sentence, create a visual that you can associate them with. For example, if the sentence you are reading states, "When the boy was almost about to take a drink of his hot cocoa, his sister comes running through the kitchen and accidentally spills his cocoa onto the floor," focus on understanding your characters and your setting. Who is this story about? A brother and a sister. Where are we? In a kitchen. What is happening? The boy's sister ran into the kitchen and he wasn't expecting it. Then, after collecting the basic picture, try to create a clearer mental picture by asking what the kitchen might have looked like. How might the characters look? Did anyone get hurt?

3. Buy or Make Your Own Bookmark

Usually, bookmarks are not too expensive, but if you think that they don't meet your budget or can't find one that you like, you can make your own bookmark using card stock and other crafty, household materials. This will help to make the book you are reading more customized and feel more personalized. 

4. Relate What You Have Read Back to Your Experiences

The most effective method is to relate some of your experiences back to what you have read. This will help you to not only have sympathy for the character, but it will help you to temporarily become the character; and from this, you will be able to see their world more clearly and get a deeper insight into their thoughts, feelings and emotions as they experience them. 

How to Find Personal Peace

Although everyone has a different way of finding personal peace. However, finding it or getting it back may not always be that easy.

Here are some ways that you can regain your sense of personal peace:

1. Listen to Your Favorite Music
Whether you like to listening to pop, indie or hip hop music, turn on your favorite song while you are riding in the car or on the bus. While you are listening to the song, close your eyes and sink yourself into the music. Imagine that you are the singer of that song. Then, create a mental image of what you might be wearing, whether or not you are dancing while singing, what your setting might be like. This will help you to escape from all your stress and whatever you were thinking about prior to this. Listen to the lyrics and the melody. What is the song saying? Then, relate your own experiences back to the song.

2. Get a Hobby
There's nothing more enjoyable than doing something that you actually like during your free time from school and work. If you enjoy leisure reading, take a trip to your local bookstore and browse all the aisles to find that hit bestseller that you've been waiting to read all these years. If you enjoy dancing, join a dance club at your school's campus or in your community's recreational center. There are usually a variety of dance clubs and classes that you can join. Plus, you'll get a great workout at the same time. If you don't have a hobby, but really want one, try to do a lot of different things in order to find your hobby. Ask yourself what kinds of things you are good in. What are your talents? skills? interests? strengths? Once you know your interests, finding your hobby will be a piece of cake.

3. Meditate
In order to let go of all your worries, do some meditation exercises which will help you to stay calm and keep your mind, body and soul happy. Although listening to music is one way of meditating, there are many other ways to meditate-- dancing, eating, exercising, playing a sport, reading, etc. Meditation has no limit. If you like to write, write about your day and your feelings--whether you are feeling angry, sad, happy...write whatever is on your mind and just spill it out on paper. This way, those thoughts will no longer be bothersome and annoying whenever you have to concentrate on your work or on your task. Just make sure that whatever type of meditation you choose, it suits your interests and it is something that you actually enjoy.

4. Go to Your Favorite Place
Is there a specific place where you can go to unwind and feel the most at peace? If so, spend some time there and be the observer. If your favorite place is the beach or near the ocean, set up a beach chair on the sand and watch the waves as they crash together and make their way back to the shoreline. As you watch the crashing waves, simultaneously let go of your worries and leave your stresses behind you; and let the ocean wash them away.

5. Create a Personal Peace Banner for Your Room

Buy a piece of fabric or canvas and decorate it using some colorful sharper markers. Draw what personal peace means to you. After you have finished designing it, you can hang your banner in your room. This is a great reminder of how you find your own personal peace and it helps you to stay true to yourself in times of struggle.

6. Volunteer in Your Community

Helping out your community is a great way to find personal peace because it will not only make you feel happy, but you will also make the person you are helping to be happy as well. Volunteer in something that you enjoy doing and that best suits your interests. There are a vast range of volunteer opportunities. If you are a pre-medical student and have interests in medicine, volunteer at your local hospital. If you have a passion for math, volunteer to be a math tutor at your school. The possibilities are endless.

7. Care for a Plant/Pet

Although getting a pet is a lot of responsibility, a pet can be a great addition to your life and your pet can be a great friend to have, especially when you are feeling down. If you decide that you don't want a pet, you can grow a plant or a garden. I recommend buying an older-looking sweet potato from your local farmer's market and growing potato slips directly from that sweet potato. It's an amazing event to watch how much your sweet potato will grow. The more you care for it and nurture it, the more it will grow. 

Sweet potato slips grown from an actual sweet potato that was bought at a local farmer's market.
If you want to grow your own, you'll need: a container, rocks, water, a sweet potato and sunlight.

It's Okay to Be An "Introvert"

Was there ever anyone-- either in your elementary or high school class who would always be reluctant to raise their hand? Did you ever meet or personally get to know someone who would always choose to sit by themselves at the lunch table, quietly sinking themselves into what they considered as a good book rather than socializing with a group of friends? 

Many times, these "shy" or "quiet" kids at school are ostracized by their classmates and are often viewed as incapable, disconnected, uninterested, unintelligent and sometimes, even snobbish. These kids are also being ignored by their peers and teachers, left only with the heavy feeling of isolation and abnormality. More often than not, these "shy" and "quiet" kids are the opposite from all of these negative stereotypes.

 Negative stereotypes such as these are continuously being circulated and further heightened by the media which inaccurately displays and portrays the nature and personalities of those who have a more "quiet" demeanor. As a result of such negative portrayals and stereotypes reinforced by the media, young children learn from an early age that being "extroverted" in this world and in this society is a must. They immediately learn that being "extroverted" is the ideal and often associate being "extroverted" with being more "likable" and "popular". For instance, a majority of the shows airing on television are often about the lives of "extroverted" people and characters which is problematic because this only shows half of the whole picture in regards to the diversity and complexity of human personalities.

As my young 14-year-old self, I used to come home from a long day of school to eat dinner while comfortably watching the Disney hit tv show, "Hannah Montana" starring Miley Cyrus which I now admit was one of my favorite tv shows of all time. I remember how much I couldn't wait for the newest episode whenever it was announced. It was always one of the things that made me excited. However, I never wanted to admit that this was my favorite show because I felt embarrassed for still watching the Disney channel as a teenager. In addition to this, my classmates never made it an easy thing to admit either. While they only viewed me as the as "the girl who didn't talk to anybody and liked to play with dolls and watch the Disney channel", my classmates never really understood the feelings and frustrations that went along with being an "introvert" in an "extroverted" world.

When you are an "introvert", it sometimes feels as though the world has turned against you and I think that's the main reason why I loved watching the Disney channel so much. I admired those who were more "extroverted" and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be that rock star who could confidently sing to millions of people without getting any stage fright. When you don't meet the "extrovert" ideal or standard, it feels isolating, dark and you just feel lost, cold and scared all the time. If you can imagine walking through a pitch black tunnel or a cave where there is only you and the darkness, it's the same exact feeling. These were my initial feelings. I felt like I was lost and confused. I couldn't find my way out and these burdening feelings would never disappear. They felt eerily haunting almost as if there was some sort of dark cloud over my head. No sunshine. No rays of light. Nothing. Only the presence of silence and darkness; and every once in a while, animal sounds filled in the empty space where the darkness resided. Whenever, I tried to escape and push my way through the small crevices between each rock wall, those small crevices felt like they were becoming even smaller. It left me with a painful, uncomfortable feeling. At the beginning, being an "introvert" was never a great experience. It was always a daunting task to work in groups with my other classmates whenever we had an in-class assignment. It was even more daunting whenever I had to present a speech and whenever I actually had to have a conversation with my classmates. American schools have designed each classroom in ways that are more suitable for "extroverts"-- the desks facing toward each other to encourage group work rather than independent studying, all of the in-class presentations and debates, etc. All of this was too stimulating for my mind to soak in.

[New stimulation occurs] Still processing... please wait... [another stimulation occurs] processing...your software will be downloaded in a moment...

I'm sorry. Your software has failed to download. Please try again later.
 
My mind failed at downloading the codes to my real identity because I kept downloading a bunch of unnecessary, foreign software that came from other people. I kept listening and taking in what everyone else was telling me of who I should be-- that I should be more "talkative" and "outgoing"-- the "extroverted" personality rather than listening to my body, mind, heart and soul. When you don't listen to your own self, this is when the CPU starts to go haywire and that's where things get the most dangerous. Eventually, I started thinking that I was "quiet", "shy", "boring" and "incapable of talking". Later, I became all of these things. At first, I was accepting and content with being these things because I thought they were all accurate descriptions of who I was as a person. However, I later realized during my second year of college that I had created my own destructive, stereotype that was programmed to discriminate and annihilate my own identity; and from there, I knew that I needed a way out of this. That is how I came across my university's student counseling center which was very shocking and uncomfortable at first. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest every step that I took down the long, narrow hallway to the office. After making inside the office, I walked up to the sign-in desk and went speechless...um...um...only silence...After about 5 minutes of waiting, I met with one of the counselor's who asked me about my personal background in order to get to know me better. Family? Friends? School? Thoughts? It felt as though there was no end. At that moment, I for the first time, understood what it was like to be interrogated by someone although I knew she was trying to help me to accept myself.

That was one of the moments that I think helped in my transformation from a caterpillar to a monarch butterfly. It was one of those moments that you never want to experience again. The feeling like you've been caught or arrested and find yourself sitting in jail, feeling guilty about what you've done and never wanting to repeat the same thing over again. It's sort of like the feelings that one experiences as they grieve about the death of their loved one-- the stages of grief. There was a sense of loss and all the baggage that came along with it-- all the emotions, the feelings and all the tears that you just can't hold back even as hard as you try to conceal them. Soon enough, there comes a point where all of this baggage can no longer be lifted and needs to be removed and for me, that baggage was the fact that I wasn't being accepting of myself. I was desperately searching for my way home.    

Home, to me, doesn't only mean a literal house with a bunch of rooms and a family living in it, but I also see home as a metaphor for finding one's niche and purpose in life as well as finding and re-defining one's identity. Home is a maternal safe zone. It's a comfort zone where you can personalize and customize your own self-identity. It's where you can choose all the paint colors and choose which furniture you want to put inside of it. You have total control of the entire project. For me, "home" is that space where I can be the most creative without anyone telling me what I can and cannot do; and how I should do it. "Home" is the place where I can live in my imagination and in my fantasy world while also still living in the present moment-- in reality. "Home" is where I can become the character and write the story that I would want to read.

I have now realized that it's okay to be an "introvert" and it makes life even more exciting and colorful. In addition to this, there are many perks to being an "introvert" which many people don't know about. Just remember, that you are the only author of your story and that no one can write it for you. You just have to learn how to trust yourself and have faith in your abilities-- whether you want to become a writer or a physician or even both. You have to know your strengths and weaknesses and then when you do, you need to work on your weaknesses and sharpen your strengths. At the end of the day, that's what will help you to find your "home".